also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
