we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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