i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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