there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
