Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize