Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize