I can't breathe out the right side of my face
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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