It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
