I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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