put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
