Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize