Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
