Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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