Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
