Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
