I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
