I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
