Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
