Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
