ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
