It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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