she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
