and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
