they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
