hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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