In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
