we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
