We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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