Christians are straight up FREAKS
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
P.S. I can't hear my feet
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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