I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
