There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
