I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dicks are not precious.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize