I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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