I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
