just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
