id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Found the puke drawer
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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