He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
