Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
