Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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