This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
