You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
