I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
