After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
