Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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