Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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