Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i've created a new STD.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
