who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's always time for handjobs
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
