Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize