So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i think im in europe. pls send help
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
