i just wanna soil my oats bro
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
