he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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