My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
