If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
