honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
