I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
