my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Ladies don't puke and tell
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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