You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize