Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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