Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
