Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my being single is dangerous.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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