That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize