we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
