Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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