in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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