i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
no. you can't hotbox the world.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
