this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
