You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
